It was pretty apparent that he wasn't right for me anyway. That's how you have to do it - instead of trying to make someone into the one you want, ruthlessly discard them if they're not right and move on.
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The other linchpin of my new approach to dating was that I was looking online, and instead of trying to find someone with the perfect profile, I was keeping an open mind and dating anyone who was interested as long as they seemed reasonably intelligent, sane, and under pounds sorry, big people. Had I not adopted this strategy I would never had ended up with my awesome SO, because politically we don't agree, his profile said no cats I had cats , and when he first messaged me it said I "peeked" his interest - in the old days the spelling Nazi in me would have made me pass him over.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but it sounds like you are on the right path to finding your own happiness. He will always be stuck with the broken awfulness inside him, the rotten choices he's made, and the path of destruction he leaves in his wake and that awaits him around the next corner.
To the 20 year old that's sleeping with my ex husband : offmychest
Same for her and, please, have no delusions that she is in any way "better" than you. But you are now free. Free to find an honest relationship and lead an honest life. You can find true happiness. You can command respect. You don't need him weighing you down anymore.
Better things lie ahead for you. Even alone, you're better off because you're no longer being lied to and disrespected. And, who knows, maybe it won't be this girl that gets dumped for better. Maybe she'll ditch him for someone younger, hotter, etc. It doesn't exactly sound like he's the cream of the crop himself. And a taste of his own medicine is just what the doctor ordered. I've never heard anyone but me say this before! I hated being 20! I hated my 20's period. I honestly can't think of a time I'd want to go back to My ex left me for someone else, too. I didn't react like OP did, which is what he was expecting and wanting to happen.
Not that I would turn violent, it made him realize that I never needed him. I'm a very independent person. I don't need someone in my life to be happy. If you are with me, it's because I want you with me. Luckily I found someone that likes that I can get things done, I can fix what needs fixed, and can take care of everything. He loves that I want him, that I don't need him to be the fix it guy or the pay the bills guy. I don't need a protector of all things. He does, however, tell me I need to be more cautious. But, I'm just not easily intimidated. That's a whole other story I don't fault OP for how she reacted.
She was blindsided then ridiculed. She is taking steps to fix her broken life. I hope she succeeds. I hope she rises so high the people that hurt her grow miserable from it. Happiness and living on is the best revenge. Showing how you can live without someone makes them realize they aren't all that. Makes them question themselves.
Once that seed of doubt is planted, it grows like a weed that addles the mind. I've watched this happen to my ex. He now makes poor choices and his new wife the woman he left me for is turning into a harpy. If I could reverse the time, I would not go back past the age of It only got better from there.
This is the kind of comment that makes me happy.
First love: Wonder what it's like to meet up decades later?
I'm 22 and I already hear people all the time say they wish they could go back to highschool or 20's period and it absolutely dumbfounds me. Sure, I'm enjoying life right now but there are so many things that aren't complete about it yet. I don't have a permanent residence, I'm only in the entry level position of what I want to be my career, I'm only just starting a great relationship, and I'm only just starting what I want to be my hobby of passion.
There are so many things that I'm looking forward to in the future that once I reach that point I can't see myself wanting to go back. Hopefully it's all that I want it to be and I have the same outlook you do. I wish I had your attitude! To repeat the torture of fear and the unknown, to be bullied into unnecessary efforts to impress people you don't care enough about?
I've thought about this quite a lot. I went from wanting to be 20 again to wanting to look 20 but know what I know now to realizing I just want someone who doesn't want 20 anything, but me at my current age. Your words described your beauty.
I can just tell what kind of human being you are. You explained everything in such passiveness. It seemed, to me, you have truly come to peace with the whole situation. I really hope this is the case. I don't know if my jumbled words helped at all, I hope so. Your post resonates with me oh so much. Thinking about getting my MBA now. Life is short, be the best you!
Welcome to Reddit,
Do and see everything. Your goodness will attract goodness. This is the kind of man who will never have true happiness. If anything, you should pity him and refuse him another moment of sorrow. While it may be hard, this man was a part of your history and consider this life lesson greater than his infidelity. His happiness is only temporary and that dissatisfaction will eat away at him as he decays and the women no longer flock to him. This is some naive feel-good-post, but goes completely in the wrong direction. She writes about his happiness and her own sadness.
It's actually been the woman who - to use your own word - is no longer "flocked to" and she talks about her loss of youthful beauty, not his. Btw, talking about human beings as "decaying" is quite a spiteful expression. It's the OP who is about to accept that life and love are not fair and if she really comes to terms with this on a deep emotional level, she will find a high level of "zen" and tranquility, which is quite the opposite of your post's message.
You speak of a naive feel good story, yet We as human beings are essentially decaying everyday. By decay, I mean age. His "beauty" will only attract so many women before he becomes too old and decrepit to pull in the 20 year old woman. Your statement of naivety is Also hypocritical when you speak of Zen and tranquility. Who's to say her sadness won't evolve into acceptance and won't one day trump his momentary material needs? She won't be sad forever and most likely She'll move on into a better part of her life without this jerk.
This isn't poetry or some lit to be analyzed, this is someone's life unless I've missed something. All I gotta say is, you go girl!
see I literally said that out loud reading this But you're so right. Keep your head up and remember you're friggen awesome! Your feelings and behavior feel so familiar.